I can't hear a thing
by EvilRegalDearie
Summary: A one shot of Emma hearing something not quite from Regina. This is based on the song Telephone by Beyonce and Lady GaGa.


_ "You called, I can't hear a thing"_

This is not AU. This is after they get back from Neverland. Lets just say, Henry hasn't turned 11 yet.

* * *

Emma Swan's cell phone rang, well it buzzed, you see it was on vibrate.

"Yeah?" Emma said, answering her reverberating blackberry.

"What a welcoming way to greet someone." Regina said, responding to Emma's version of a, 'hello'.

Jaded by the older woman's sarcastic tone, Emma rolled her eyes.

"What do you want Regina?"

The brunette sighed before replying. She wasn't used to what she was about to do. She hated it, but after a few moments of debating she knew it was the right thing.

"I need you to do me."

The blonde dropped her cell phone. She couldn't believe her ears. Had Regina Mills really said, I need you to do me? Regina was pretty, sure, but she didn't swing for that particular team. Besides, she was was trying to work things out with Neal, Regina knew that. Why on earth would the evil queen need her? Especially in that kind of a way? Emma picked up her phone and walked across the street to Golds' shop. She never would've thought Regina was a... a lesbian.

The bell chimed as the savior made her way in. She was surprised to find Belle standing behind the counter.

"Hi, Emma." The auburn haired woman greeted happily.

"What brings you here?"

Still a bit dazed from what Regina had said to her. The blonde didn't hear her.

"Umm, Emma?" Belle said, wondering what had the blonde so out if it.

Emma stood there not replying. Her hands were on her hips and it seemed as though she were thinking about something.

'Wasn't she with Graham? I just don't get it. Hell, wasn't she with Daniel?' Emma's mind was racing.

'Well, she could be bisexual. That's gotta be it.' The blonde concluded.

"She's bi."

Belle looked at Emma confused.

"Who's bi?" She asked.

Emma's aquamarine eyes widened in embarrassment. Had she really said that out loud?

"Umm... no one." She answered trying to cover her tracks.

"It's nothing."

"What's nothing?" Gold asked, walking in from the back.

"Emma was just saying something about a person being bi, whatever that means." Belle told him.

"You're telling me you don't know what bi is?" Emma inquired, shocked that she didn't know.

Belle shrugged. "I know it means 'goodbye' or 'I'll see you later'."

Emma looked from her to Gold, who happened to share the same unknowing expression as his girlfriend.

The blonde raised her eyebrows still in shock.

"That's not exactly what this bi means." She told her.

"Then what does it mean Miss. Swan?" Mr. Gold asked now.

She didn't know how to reply. She never thought she'd one day have to explain sexual orientations to Henry's grandfather.

"Uhh... well. How can I put this?" She thought out loud.

"When a girl... why'd I'd say girl I should've said woman... Okay, okay..." She said, getting the right words together.

"When a female is attracted to men and females, then they are what you consider bi. Which happens to be spelled B and I; bi." Emma stated successfully. She looked back up at the couple to see what they were thinking.

Belle seemed to understand whereas Gold didn't.

"Why would a woman be attracted to another woman?" He asked her.

"Do they just hate men?"

"That's the thing," Emma started, "they are attracted to men. They're attracted to both."

"Well, why?" Gold questioned.

"I don't know." The savior told him.

"I'm pretty sure they're born that way. But if I ever meet a bisexual woman I'll be sure to ask." She said sarcastically.

Mr. Gold paused a minute, he looked like he was considering something. He then turned to Belle, who, at the moment, happened to be a polishing their chipped cup.

"You're not..."

She smiled, hearing his insinuation.

"Relax, Rumple. I love you."

Her response wasn't quite enough for him.

"But that doesn't mean you aren't bi." He said.

"I'm not bi. I'm...I'm..." She stopped mid sentence unsure of what she was.

"What is it called when you're only attracted to men?" Belle asked Emma.

"Straight." She answered simply.

"Then I am straight."

Gold looked like he was lightening up a bit.

"But would it be so bad if I were bi?" Belle asked him.

"Not exactly. We'd just have to add a girl to our relationship. Do you have anybody in mind?" Gold quipped.

"Very funny." Belle said.

"But I'm not sharing you with anyone else." She put her arms around his neck pulling him into a deep kiss.

Emma averted her eyes.

"Umm guys?"

"Sorry." Belle said, breaking it off.

"What is it you came in here for?" Gold asked, looking at the blonde.

"Henry's present. I thought there might be something in here he'd like."

"Have anything in mind?"

"I thought I'd just look around and see."

Gold gestured for her to do so. And while looking around she saw David's spinning wheel, what was supposed to be her mobile. She saw many old brown books, and a green sail boat.

"Nice boat." Emma said, complimenting the ship.

"It's yours if you want. Free of charge."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "Really, free?" She asked, taken aback by Golds act of kindness.

"Really, Miss. Swan. Henry is my grandson. If you think he'd like the boat, it's his."

"Thanks. But I think he'd rather have one of these swords. They are kinda cool." She replied, taking one out of it's case. The sliver glimmering in the light.

"Take it." Gold said. She expressed her gratitude once more before turning to leave.

"Emma, wait!" Belle said.

"Yeah?" Emma inquired.

"You... you said, she must be bi. Who were talking about?"

Emma looked at the ground. She wasn't sure if she should say.

"Regina." She almost whispered.

Gold's face held an amused expression before he started to laugh.

While all Belle could do was utter a confusing 'oh'.

Emma left the shop with Henry's birthday present around her waist. She was headed to Snow's and Charming's to hide it there until Henry's birthday.

* * *

"Whoa." David said as he watched his daughter walk in with said weapon around her waist. "Who made you mad?" He asked, smiling at his own humor.

"Birthday gift for Henry." Emma replied.

"Don't you think it's a bit much for an 11 year old boy?" Snow questioned.

"He's always wanted to be a hero. This is just what he needs to do so." Emma told her mother.

"I'll make sure he's careful with it. And if not me, I'm sure Regina will."

Snow almost choked on her coffee.

"Are you alright?" Emma asked, looking at her mother.

"I'm fine, it's just..."

"Just what?" The savior inquired.

Snow looked at David who sat down beside her on the couch.

"It's just," he said, continuing his wife's sentence, "Ariel told us about what you told Belle... about Regina." He finished, watching Emma's reaction.

"Geesh, news sure does travel fast around here."

"It's a small town." Snow pointed out.

"But umm..." Snow cleared her throat, "just to be correct here. You think Regina likes you, romantically?"

"It's kinda what she said." Emma informed them.

"And what was that?" Her mother asked.

"She said she wanted to... you know... do it." Emma told her parents, embarrassed.

"But she's a girl and you're a girl." David said not completely understanding.

"And she was in love Daniel, who's a guy."

"It's calling being bi, sweetie." Snow responded quickly.

"Right Emma?"

"Uhh yeah." Emma replied.

"So, only girls can be bi?" David asked.

"No," Emma answered. "guys can be too."

"So, girls can be attracted to girls and guys and also guys can be attracted to girls and guys?"

"Yes." The blonde said.

"How do you get bi?"

"You don't. You're kinda just born that way."

"Then what am I?" David asked.

"You're straight." Emma told him.

"But Belle said straight means you're attracted to guys." Snow chimed in.

"I'm not attracted to guys." Charming stated frowning.

"I should've been more clear." Emma began. "Straight means you're attracted to the opposite gender. Since Belle is a girl she's attracted to men. And since David's a guy..."

"I'm attracted to girls." He finished.

"Right." Emma communicated.

"Never thought I'd have to explain this to anyone let alone my own parents."

She said, standing up and putting the sword in the closet.

"Emma, is that it? I mean, if girls can only be attracted to guys and guys only girls. Then can't guys only be attracted to guys and girls only girls as well?" Snow pondered.

"There's more?!" David asked.

"I can hardly wrap my head around bi and straight."

"Those are the only two left." Emma responded.

"Just like Snow said, there are girls who are only attracted to girls and guys who are only attracted to guys."

"What's that called, sweetheart?" Her mother inquired.

"When a girl's attracted to only girls then she's a lesbian."

"Thespian?" Charming questioned.

"I thought that was a theatrical performer."

"She said les-bi-an." Snow told him, articulating the syllables.

"And when a guy's only attracted to men then he's gay."

"I thought that meant brightly colored." Snow responded, nothing but confusion on her face. Until she started giggling that is.

"Just kidding."

"I'm still not sure." David said. "Why would Regina want to be with you... like that?"

"I have no idea." Emma replied.

"But if she is bi then that must mean you're..."

"Straight!"

Emma interjected. "I'm straight!"

"If there's something you'd like to tell us, sweetie, it's okay. We'll understand." Snow assured her.

"I am not a lesbian!... or bi!" Their daughter exclaimed.

"I'm with Neal. He and I are trying to work things out... I have no idea why Regina would think that."

"You should go talk to her." The pixie cut woman suggested.

"You need to know if she does have feelings for you."

"What if she does?" Emma asked.

"Then she's probably scared. We didn't know what bi meant and she might not either. You need to talk to her Emma."

"Fine," she said standing up.

"I'll talk to her. But if she tries kissing me you're the one telling Neal."

* * *

Emma stood outside Regina's mansion reluctant to ring the doorbell. Her mother had told her this was for the best but avoiding the brunette was what the blonde had in mind. Not face what was bound to be an uncomfortable situation. She swallowed hard as she reached for the doorbell and pressed onto the white button.

"Come in!" Emma heard the brunette yell from inside. She turned the knob and made her way into the former mayor's huge house. The smell of chocolate lead her to the kitchen where she saw Regina taking brownies out of the oven.

"Emma, hi." She said, placing the hot tray on the counter. She reached back in the oven to get the second tray.

"I wasn't sure if you heard me when I called you earlier. My cellphone has been acting strange and when you didn't respond I knew it was acting strange again. What I was going to ask you was..."

"Regina, I'm not having sex with you." The blonde stated, cutting the brunette off. Emma didn't know how to let her down easily. And she really just wanted to get it over with anyway.

Regina was taken off guard by the savior's words so much so that it caused her to drop the tray of brownies and accidentally burn herself.

"Damn it!" She let out, holding her right arm.

"Are you okay?!" Emma asked, concerned that she might have hurt herself badly. She rushed over to Regina's aid, turning the faucet on so she could sooth her burn. She placed her arm under the water for her.

"Oww!" Regina cried out in more pain.

"What is it?! What's wrong?!" Emma asked, trying to figure out how she can make Regina as comfortable as possible.

"The water... it's hot." Regina managed to say through her pain.

"Sorry." Emma said. She quickly switched on the cold water.

Regina sighed under the cool sensation. Allowing Emma to calm down seeing that Regina was going to be okay.

"Thank you." She said to Emma.

"No problem." The blonde replied. "Does this mean I don't have to have sex with you?"

Regina was perplexed.

"What is this nonsense? Who said I wanted that? We may have the same son but that is the only thing we will ever be sharing. Do you understand?"

"I don't want to have sex with you either. But you're the one who told me to do you." Emma responded, not understanding Regina's refusal now.

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked.

"I said no such thing."

"This morning, did you or did you not say, I need you to do me?"

"A favor!" The brunette emphasized. "I said, I need you to do me a favor! My phone has been acting up, my voice must've went in and out."

Emma began blushing before she exhaled.

"That's good news. I came over here thinking you wanted me or something."

Regina's face turned up in disgust.

"Please. If I ever wanted a girl why in the world would I want you?"

Emma felt a little pang of hurt.

"Well, we do have a son together." She defended.

"And I don't think I'm ugly, so..."

"Not a chance." Regina replied.

"Whatever." Emma said, taking a brownie off the tray.

"But just so you know, the whole town may think you're bi now. I might've told some of them you like me."

"What do you mean by 'might have'?" Regina asked, afraid of the answer.

"I told Belle and Rumple. And then Belle told Ariel, who told my parents."

"Fantastic!" Regina said, sarcasm radiating from her voice. "Mr. Gold will like nothing better than to make fun of me about this. And forget about it just being Storybrooke knowing. Now the whole entire world does because we all know how Snow is at keeping secrets."

For some reason Regina's little break down made Emma start to laugh.

"Nothing's funny!" The brunette said.

"Everything's funny." The blonde corrected, smiling.

"Wait, what was the favor?" Emma inquired, stifling her laughs.

"Henry; since this is his first year with both his mother and father, I know he'd like for you and Neal to have him for his birthday."

"Really?" Emma asked.

"Really." Regina responded.

"That's very nice of you, Regina. I'd like that. I know Henry and Neal will too."

Emma saw a flash of sadness in the brunette's eyes before it promptly vanished.

"Henry will want to celebrate with you too Regina." She said, trying to make the brunette feel better.

"You are his mom."

Regina shook her head. "I've had him all to myself for 10 years. I think it's time I try something new."

"Thanks." The blonde expressed again.

"Sorry about all the chaos."

She turned to leave and was halfway out the door when Regina called her.

"Emma, wait!"

The blonde looked back.

"What exactly does bi mean?"

The savior exhaled a sigh of exhaustion.

"Here we go again." She said to herself.

* * *

Thanks for reading (:


End file.
